via the-real-breaking-news.com

Our correspondent reports from the world’s most beautiful city:

Day 2 from Paris: Gout attack. Hobbling home from the Latin quarter we stopped at the River Seine where they were preparing to film a daring movie scene in which a motorcyclist drove along the bank of the river with a car chasing close behind. The bike started to wobble, then it fell sending the man and the motorcycle careening into the river. People ran frantically to the river side to pull the injured driver ashore as the bike sank to the bottom. The silhouette of a very large fish was illuminated by the sunken headlights of the lost motorcycle. Just another day in Paris.

It is our hope that our correspondent will recovery completely from gout complications and regale us with stories of inebriation and ineptitude.  Stay tuned.